Why Do Men Disappear?
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Heartbreak Podcast - Why Do Men Disappear?
Why do men disappear? This is a very commonly asked question from people on social media, and it has actually been a running theme for a couple of my clients. One client in particular came to me wanting to heal her heart about her past relationships and she’s moving through the process of wanting to love herself so beautifully, and she’s ready to online date again.
Part of what I do is that I get to help women design their profiles on dating apps. It’s awkward writing about yourself, but it can be so much fun if you allow your brain to expand to that possibility and believe that Mr. or Ms. Right is really out there. How we see these dating apps and how we think about them affects the results we get from them. We have to believe in the possibility that our person could actually be there.
I asked my client to try creating her profile on a dating app, and she really didn’t want to do it. On her first attempt, I could tell that it was done without much time and effort put into it, and only because I had asked her to do it. As a result, due to her lack of care she invested in her profile, she was attracting men who were equally uninterested and they were being flaky.
She wanted me to coach her around the guys disappearing, but she didn’t want to look at her own thoughts about her profile. She had a half-assed profile on there that she wasn’t excited about, and then she’s swiping with guys and not understanding why they’re disappearing.
If she’s not psyched about herself and who she is, and how she’s presenting herself, then, of course, she’s going to be attracting men who disappear. You have to love how you’re presenting yourself to your potential partner. You are responsible for what you create. You are responsible for who you attract. In what way are you not showing up for yourself in order to feel good?
Topics in this episode
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Client successes even during a global pandemic
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The stories we tell ourselves, especially around dating apps
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Where are you disappearing in your life?
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Do not apologize for who you are. Show who you are. Love who you are. Be unapologetic.
Resources
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Heartbreak in Your Ideal Relationship: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2020/6/14/heartbreak-in-your-ideal-relationship
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Heartbreak for Black Lives: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2020/6/8/heartbreak-for-black-lives
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Lena George: https://www.unplug.com/teachers-new/lena-george
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Brooke Castillo, The Capacity to Have: https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcast/268/
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My heartbreak story: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/4/1/my-heartbreak-story
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Jen Sincero: You Are A Badass At Making Money: https://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Badass-at-Making-Money-audiobook/dp/B01MQSSGFT
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Elizabeth Gilbert: Big Magic: https://www.amazon.com/Big-Magic-Elizabeth-Gilbert-audiobook/dp/B00U08ECQA
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What to Eat On A Broken Heart: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/8/12/what-to-eat-on-a-broken-heart
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How Committed Are You? https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2020/7/6/how-committed-are-you
PLEASE NOTE: Claire refers to her exes and the listener’s ex as a “he,” based on her own personal experience as a heterosexual female, but this work can be applied to ANYONE going through heartbreak. ALL genders and sexual orientations are encouraged to listen and apply Claire’s tools into their own lives!
Editing and show notes by Roth Media
