Seeking External Validation

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Heartbreak Podcast - Seeking External Validation

Validating who we are from the people we love is normal, and it's okay. We need to allow ourselves that sense of relief, regardless if that relationship will work or if the guy will show interest in you or not. It stings, but the only guarantee that you have is to show up as yourself. Be aware, be committed to check yourselves and the facts, and not judge your brain if it gets too excited. For example, let's say you go on a first date and the guy calls you and you get excited. This is the fun part! You deserve to feel good about it. And lastly, you also have to be ready to go to a place of worst scenarios. As Byron Katie said, "turn around the automatic painful thoughts."

It's hard to let you see that vulnerable side of me seeking external validation, but I love showing what's possible and being an example of that. Be with the discomfort, love yourself, be compassionate. You owe it to yourself. And, who knows, someone who's a better fit for you will come your way, in the most unexpected time and place. Just like it happened for me.

Topics in this episode

• External validation

• Why we seek validation from people?

• Why we get affected from scrutinize and criticisms from others

• My relationship is about myself and my relationship with myself

• What’s the healthy way to handle external validation?

• Being attached to someone is normal

Resources

• Single, happy, and fulfilled: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/blog/single-happy-and-fulfilled

• Learning from your mistakes: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/bloglearning-from-your-mistakes

• Heartbreak in your ideal relationship: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/blog/heartbreak-in-your-ideal-relationship

• Jamie McKeowen: https://www.wholelifejems.com/

• Stacey Boehman: https://staceyboehman.com/

• Brooke Castillo: https://thelifecoachschool.com/

• Byron Katie: https://thework.com/

• Kaitlyn Bristowe: https://kaitlynbristowe.com/

• Abraham Hicks: https://www.abraham-hickslawofattraction.com/

PLEASE NOTE: Claire refers to her exes and the listener’s ex as a “he,” based on her own personal experience as a heterosexual female, but this work can be applied to ANYONE going through heartbreak. ALL genders and sexual orientations are encouraged to listen and apply Claire’s tools into their own lives!

Editing and show notes by Roth Media