Why Is It Taking Me SO Long To Get Over Him?

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The shame you’re feeling from others about how long it’s taking you to get over him is really the shame you feel for yourself.

Claire says the first thing you need to do, is OWN how long it’s taking you to heal. 

There’s no pressure or rush to heal.

Instead of looking for ways to STOP her pain, Claire didn’t know she was actually in need of someone to help guide her THROUGH it. 

Attempting to stop the pain only PROLONGS it. 

Claire fully owns that it took her TWO-THREE years to get over

Find a TRUSTED AND RELIABLE PROFESSIONAL to create a safe and compassionate space for you to fall apart, BEFORE you can transform your victim story into a HEROINE STORY… (the best part!)

Don’t give up until you find the right professional to work with!   He or she is out there and if you’re interested in working with Claire, go to

www.clairebyrnecoaching.com/connect

Learning to be ok with NOT being ok and owning how long it takes to heal is huge! 

This doesn’t mean Claire is encouraging you to take 2-3 years to heal!   She didn’t have the tools at the time and knows it would be a quicker process if she knew what she knows now. 

But still, there isn’t a formulaic timeline on how long it “should” take to heal

Even though unhealthy, toxic relationships are tough to move through, so are “healthy” break-ups! 

You mourn what you hoped was possible between the two of you, and just the fact that he was a good person and perhaps fear how hard it will be to find that connection again…

Even WITH the tools, Claire opens up how one break-up took her almost a year to get over after only being with someone for four months.

WHY DOES THAT HAVE TO BE A BAD THING? 

Who is ANYONE to judge.

She applied the tools—leaned into the pain, went to a therapist, and a coach and used that heartbreak as inspiration to launch her coaching business as a HEARTBREAK COACH.  She didn’t shy away, and she allowed herself to miss this person until she didn’t…all the while doing thoughtwork daily, meditating, and living her life to the fullest. 

Be selective over who you talk about your heartbreak with!!

Don’t indulge your victim story with someone who wants to relate and indulge with you! 

Cultivate your OWN approval of your pain. 

You will waver back and forth between wanting to heal and move forward, and then fall apart.  TOTALLY NORMAL.  HEARTBREAK is NOT a linear process.

Before taking on a client, Claire wants to make sure you’re READY to move forward… if you’re going to keep checking his social media, or beating yourself up for still wanting him back, or continue to be in his business about what HE thinks of you, vs cultivating so much love and focusing on what YOU think of you…

If you do all of the above, OF COURSE it’s going to take longer for you to get over him!!! 

Lots of ways to LOVE on yourself

  • fall apart

  • take a hot bath

  • journal/thoughtwork

  • lean into the pain

  • reiki

  • meditation

  • yoga

  • connect with TRUSTED sister-friends

  • solo movie date.

  • Speak with LOVE to that inner critic! 

Unhealed wounds will manifest in disease or play out in future relationships.  Heal it HEAD ON!

Don’t believe you’re back to square 1 when you feel like it hurts so much after feeling like you were finally turning a corner of healing and moving on!

This is TOTALLY normal!   NO MORE JUDGMENTS ON HOW LONG IT TAKES OR HOW DEEP THE PAIN.

This too shall pass, and KNOW that you’re gonna be a better woman FOR all this work you’re doing on yourself!