Whhaaaaaaat? What DRUGS is your life coach ON?! Keep reading...I'm actually totally high on life and on my third day of a cleanse, soooooo...
For those of you who don't watch The Bachelor,
A) What is WRONG with you? And...
B) You're welcome for this spoiler alert in case you've been living under a rock and have no idea about what transpired during the Final Rose Ceremony episode last Monday.
Long story short-- Arie picked Becca but THEN decided, "Nah, I want Lauren instead."
What a FUN day for Becca when she thought she was traveling to LA for an escape hideout getaway with her fiancé she was MADLY in love with, (hold the eye-rolls regarding them knowing each other for maybe five minutes) only to discover Arie was ENDING THINGS ON CAMERA FOR AMERICA TO SEE HER WORLD FALL APART.
Cut to Mary Claire Byrne's phone blowing up all day Tuesday.
(Sidenote, I have ZERO shame in sharing how FLATTERED I am that people need to discuss this national tragedy with me.)
Look. As shitty as it went down for Becca, who are we to judge Arie in the position he was in??
Most of us don't know what it's like to be "in love" with two people after knowing them for five minutes and basically have a gun at our heads along with a ticking time-bomb to make a choice.
Like, really process that for a minute.
That shit's HARD, my loves.
However, I think what most of us gluttons for drama had the biggest problem with, was his GENIUS idea to break the news ON CAMERA?!?!
This seemed to be the general consensus between myself and my gaggle of girls from near and far on Tuesday, until the most glorious yet cringe-worthy After the Final Rose Ceremony episode aired that night.
This is where Arie reunites with Becca for the first time since the split, and we learn lame answers to the questions she was now prepared to ask after processing getting the wind knocked out of her on national TV.
The life coach in me was pleasantly surprised to hear BECCA SAY SHE WAS GLAD ARIE BROKE OFF THE ENGAGEMENT ON CAMERA.
I immediately thought of my all-time favorite, Byron Katie, who would have asked how the circumstance SERVED her vs. HURT her.
And that's exactly what Becca did before I was even ok with the whole on-camera approach!!!
She found that watching her own break-up actually helped her get the closure she needed.
Cue the AHA moment I was so desperately seeking while living vicariously through her broken heart, having had the switch unexpectedly flip on me one or ten times before...
What a GENIUS and HEALTHY way to look at a situation she initially felt was so painful and embarrassing.
I mean if I, along with America were able to watch my last break-up on TV, I think the pain would have dissipated A LOT quicker!!
HOW VALIDATING would it have been for everyone to WITNESS his lack of remorse for expressing such intense feelings for me just days before...
And his expression of disappointment in me for "not putting my life coaching hat on when he was struggling with something the night before..."
Errrrm... last I checked I was not a mind-reader, but I WAS his girlfriend???
And the irony here is that when he broke up with me, he said he never experienced better communication with a partner before--
SO WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK FOR MY COACHING PERSPECTIVE, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED?!
I feel like Jimmy Kimmel and Kelly Ripa would have TOTALLY had my back here, and let my ex know that the BREAK-UP CARD he left me and the 100 pieces of my heart with, was a big no-no.
What ADULT signs a break-up card with a SAD FACE?!?!
UCH it would have been COMEDIC GOLD and so much easier to focus on the reality of that final night, versus LONGING FOR THE GOOD TIMES I THOUGHT WERE WORTH FIGHTING FOR at the time.
Because we all do that with our broken hearts, right? Try to rewind time and wish we said or did things differently, now that we have NEW information about the deal-breakers our exes stored in their brains, but didn't reveal to us until it was too late.
The shoulda-woulda-coulda syndrome.
For SURE, I had a moment of wishing I'd asked my ex if he was interested in my coaching perspective because I had SO MUCH to say, but at the time, I felt being a quiet, supportive girlfriend and letting him process what he needed to on his own, was what he wanted.
WE DO THE BEST WE CAN WITH WHAT WE ARE GIVEN AT THE TIME, AND IT ALL UNFOLDED THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO.
If your ex is going to hold things that weren't ill-willed on your end against you as deal-breakers, without expressing what they wanted from you in the moment, then they're NOT your person.
Or if he feels someone else is a better fit for him, SET HIM FREE BECAUSE THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO IS A BETTER FIT FOR YOU.
This is where FAITH in all that IS and ALL THAT WILL BE, while putting your best foot forward and doing all you can to FULLY LOVE AND OWN ALL OF WHO YOU ARE, comes into CRUCIAL PLAY.
Giving the other person your power and energy to decide on the fate of your HAPPINESS just might be a sign that you're NOT ready for the healthiest of relationships with someone else...
UNTIL YOU'RE IN THE HEALTHIEST RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF.
It was CLEAR as DAY that Becca quickly recognized Arie's actions were not a reflection of her self-worth, and it was awe-inspiring to watch!
So not only did Arie do the RIGHT thing, as well as my EX and YOURS-- yes, their RIDONCULOUS behaviors INCLUDED-- but most importantly, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING...
showing up in the best way you knew how, flaws n' all.
When you FULLY accept that you can't rewind time, change what you said or didn't say, or change his feelings for someone else, AND RECOGNIZE YOU CAN START TO LOVE AND OWN YOURSELF,
THEN you're ready for the right relationship with the RIGHT GUY.
Hence why I think it's MOST appropriate that Becca is OUR NEXT BACHELORETTE!!!
Happy Claire Your Mind Monday!
Interested in working with me? I currently have extra time on Monday nights now that The Bachelor is over until Becca comes back in May. Email firstname.lastname@example.org and LET'S GET STARTED!