How many of you are or have been heartbroken and you want SO BADLY to get over Mr. Wrong?
Or maybe you’re not convinced he’s the WRONG one, but he’s chosen to walk away so therefore, YOU JUST WANNA GET OVER HIM!
I’ve been there one too many times…
Wanting to CHANGE MY FEELINGS for him because he no longer wants to be in the picture.
And I’d start to indulge a story that there must be something wrong with me that I’d long for someone who not only didn’t treat me well, but WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO BE WITH ME?
Here’s the thing—this kind of resistance and self-judgment KEEPS US MARINATING IN THE HEARTBREAK.
What if you ALLOWED your heart to hurt from feeling rejected?
What if you ALLOWED your heart to long for the guy who at one point, swept you off your feet?
What if you ALLOWED your heart to cultivate self-compassion instead of self-judgment?
And my clients say, BUT CLAIRE, I HATE HOW THIS FEELS SO MUCH.
I DON’T WANT to want him back.
I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me.
I don’t want to feel this dread when I wake up in the morning and go to bed at night.
What if I offered that YOU DO WANT TO THINK AND FEEL ALL THESE SAD EMOTIONS AND STORIES YOU’RE INDULGING?
Yes, they are stories and you ARE indulging them by allowing the brain to run amok by thinking and feeling the worst meanings you’re making out of the split.
When you argue with reality, you suffer… but only 100% of the time. Thank you Queen Byron Katie!
One of my coaches, Brooke Castillo, offers that life is 50% negative and 50% positive.
What if we leaned into the pain we are feeling for ALL the losses life will inevitably present to us?
I’m not asking you to necessarily LOVE WHAT IS—even though this is EXACTLY what Katie preaches and is actually the title of her book—but it would be A GREAT START TO PERHAPS EXPLORE NOT RESISTING WHAT IS…
This is a work in progress for me ALWAYS, my loves.
Not just in my love-life, but in my friendships, my business, with my family, and my health.
I can hate that I have a recurring cough that exhausts me for months. I can hate that a friend is hurt by me putting myself first. I can hate that setting higher goals for my business alerts my brain to MAD PANIC.
OR I can surrender to the uncomfortable feelings that comes with the 50% of life that is unavoidably negative.
Lean into the discomfort, loves.
From there, your heart will absolutely soften.
And THEN, you get to DECIDE how and when you want to shift your story.
I’m often asked, HOW LONG DOES THIS TAKE?
As long as it’s supposed to.
I know that’s probably not what you want to hear…
But what I’ve learned is, that when I’ve wanted to get over him SO BADLY, allowing myself to feel the hurt, the longing, the rejection, and the shame, is always a much quicker way to get there.
Happy Claire Your Mind Monday.
PS interested in working with me? Message me for a FREE CONSULTATION to finish off 2018 with a bang, and start 2019 off with the utmost authenticity, vigor and GRACE.