If I THINK I Want Him Back, Why Isn't He Here?


This episode was inspired by a client of Claire's who recently had her heart broken quite abruptly by her long-term boyfriend.

Like all of Claire's clients, she is eager to DO the WORK, she's got a great sense of self-awareness, and INTELLECTUALLY understood that this guy didn't turn out to be as great as she thought.

However, like MOST of us going through heartbreak, there have been moments where her client second-guessed her own behavior throughout the relationship, and thought that maybe some of the things that she THOUGHT weren't going to work long-term, COULD!

This is the classic case of what is called BARGAINING when experiencing grief.

The pain of losing him feels stronger than the pain of continuing in a relationship where there were going to be aspects that ultimately would have been a deal-breaker for her, long-term.

So Claire's client was having a moment of longing and posed the question, If my thoughts create my results, and I want him back, can I THINK him back into my life??

Claire challenges her client on if that's really true.

WHEN YOU ARGUE WITH REALITY, YOU SUFFER.-- Byron Katie

He's no longer here-- therefore you definitely don't want him back

If he was the right guy, he'd be here.

Claire's references

Episode 1 All I Want Is For Him To Come Back

Episode 5 My Heartbreak Story

Claire's article on Kourtney Kardashian's lifestyle site, Poosh!

The reason he's not coming back is because you DON'T want him back.